Chasing F@&%in’ Black Cat – A Day in TOHV

I’m sitting on my balcony a few weeks back, assembling some ingenious piece of journalism, when the sound of demons screwing shoots across the lawn and deep into my bones. I vault out of my armchair, dodge out of my room, and pound down the staircase and through the front door, a dark curse on…

Signing Death Waivers for Charity

I don’t particularly like arriving at large events alone – it makes me feel awkward to see everyone arriving in boisterous, high-fiving groups and have to slink in like some divergent misanthrope. This awkwardness was exacerbated while arriving at the Hudson Polar Plunge Saturday because of my costume, which was thrown together at the last…

stockport greenport trail

A Litany of F***-Ups – A Day in TOHV

Sometimes, it’s necessary in life to be objective. I find this extra-helpful when something ridiculously unpleasant is happening — you just picture yourself as an actor in some ribald comedy and laugh along with the audience. It’s how I got through most of my 20s. I was forced to apply this coping mechanism a couple…

The Joys of Destructive Weather – A Day in TOHV

We had some cracking good weather in Columbia County this week, which is another way of saying we had very bad weather. Call me a masochist, but I might have a perverse love of destructive weather events. I had to add “might” in there because the claim seems like the famous last words uttered 20…

Exxxtreme Badminton – A Day in TOHV

I’m not sure if you’ve ever played badminton, but it doesn’t matter, because you’ve been playing it all wrong. See, you’ve been playing it as a lawn game, like croquet or…I dunno, tanning. MY crew, we play it Columbia County-style. We play it as a sport. My crew lays their heads in the sparsely populated…