Final Exchange

This was the end of things. Just as the balmy sea shoots forward over the dry sand, giving it moisture and warmth, making the grains form together into one mass, the sea must one day be absorbed back into the ocean, leaving the grains as cold and separate as they were before. Marshall stared at…

Numb Little Orgasms

Why masturbate alone When you can masturbate into someone else? Why make your tummy viscous with nut When there’s a container waiting? Fill your fingers with constellations of cutting scars And stimulate your glands (the old in-and-out) With her pelvis-bone and out—into the mirror To marionette yourself from a blank-lit angle —and edit, always edit…

Wed Me: The Arrival

Wed Me: The Come Up The lodge was massive: constructed fully of logs, it squatted on the wide acme of a hill, the wings and verandas and porticos branching downwards towards the driveway, which did a full loop around the structure. Three chimneys puffed grey smoke that clung to the surrounding redwoods before drifting off…

Wed Me: The Come-Up

Phil shouldn’t have let Gaffney choose the music. He had relinquished control over the stereo along with the wheel about 30 miles back, and Gaffney had immediately started blasting a ludicrous rap album that sounded like someone stomping on a Casio. The lyrics were worse; the current song seemed to just be a litany of…

R

It was an incredibly profane business card. The back was completely devoted to a picture of a chick straddling a Harley. She was wearing a string bikini the color of pink hi-liters that only covered about 20 percent of her tits, allowing the potential client to see the paw print tattoos adorning them. Her hair…

Giantess in a Safeway

The bent gnome at the Safeway cash register was already in a foul mood when the next customer approached. Her last transaction was so noxious that she had been forced to mutter dark little gnome curses at the departing customer’s back while fantasizing about their milk going bad and their eggs rupturing erratically before they…

The Therapist’s Hour

Patient Rob stared with dark-rabbit eyes as the first thirty seconds ticked off the clock. “…so I get to the club, y’know, and there’s this new bouncer there, some skinny prick…don’t even know why they hired him, couldn’t bounce shit.” Therapist Chodoff slowly uncrossed and recrossed his legs while snuggling back deeper into his plush,…

Aliens

Michael saw aliens everywhere. They hung like monkeys from telephone wires and sprung like giant grasshoppers down the highway. They stood as motionless as statues on Widow’s Walks and burrowed under the yard like smiling moles. They posted themselves by Michael’s bed every night and filtered out the bad dreams. The dark camp used to…

Upriver

Marshall was in trouble. Quinn could hear the desperate inflections of his voice through the blank verse of the text message. “Could you please come over?” …it read. It was a startling and unwelcome message to get while lounging naked in bed with your girlfriend, body sleek and satisfied from Saturday-morning delight. Maria raised herself…

Paris, 1789

Wisps of blue vapor waft out of the revolutionary’s starving stomach and are formulated into bars of revolt crafted by the crazed crab under the floorboards. He has been here for generations, reading his tomes, thumping his brain with his fist, waiting for the needle of opinion to sway his way. The masses need a…

Wacko with Cheese

It’s hard to describe the sound the man was making. It’s as if he was yelling moans, I guess, the way I imagine a retarded demon would sound, but it was interspersed with a kind of infantile babbling. Whatever it sounded like, the man on line at the Burger King was convinced he was actually…

Whiskey in Summer

The Whiskey poured clean down from the light-winking liter to the worn Gatorade bottle to the mouths of me and my friends. The copper vapors swirled lazily in the wide heat of August so we imbibed whether we touched our lips to the bottle or not. The sun was a universal melody that sung vibes…

Honey

She had brought him another crossword puzzle. It seemed like she did this at distinct intervals, but time was hard to measure when the light rose and fell outside the plane’s windows every few moments. They were passing through a dark time now, so Honey dialed up his tiny airplane light to better see the…

The Nitrous King

He had cases of Nitrous. Actual cases of the crackers, what looked like 20-packs. The cases’’ ends could be torn off along perforated edges to access the crackers, like those 12-packs of beer that were designed to be laid in refrigerators. And, oh, he had torn them. He was on box two when I saw…