stockport greenport trail

Dancing to Non-Profane Music – A Day in TOHV

I’ve always really enjoyed dancing. Wait, that’s not true. If I delve TRULY far back, the first time I remember dancing was at camp the summer before fifth grade with a girl much larger than me. This wasn’t exactly UNUSUAL at that age, what with girls hitting puberty earlier, but my friends at the time…

stockport greenport trail

Man vs. Nature – A Day in TOHV

I was walking down Warren Street in Hudson, smoking a cigarette (I assume) when I saw what appeared to be an inter-species romance: two birds mid-air with talons intertwined, the smaller bird cruising upside down under the larger one. It turned out the smaller bird was dead. The larger one (which I later identified as…

stockport greenport trail

The Hudson Valley vs. NYC – A Day In TOHV

While cruising up the Hudson River from NYC on a rarely-punctual Amtrak last Monday, I was able to reflect on the positives of the city, an unusual moment for someone who generally squints angrily when people go on extended raves about the place. I’m a rabid Hudson Valley fan, and there is little room left…

stockport greenport trail

A Litany of F***-Ups – A Day in TOHV

Sometimes, it’s necessary in life to be objective. I find this extra-helpful when something ridiculously unpleasant is happening — you just picture yourself as an actor in some ribald comedy and laugh along with the audience. It’s how I got through most of my 20s. I was forced to apply this coping mechanism a couple…

faso-delgado-predictions

My Predictions for Today’s Elections

It has been a particularly intense midterm season. I should know, because I’ve been covering it since September 2017, before (self-props) anyone else was. Now, 13 months later, it is election day. I just left my local polling place after voting (no, I’m not going to tell you who for), and there was a 15-person…

The Joys of Bumming Out Cigarettes

Smoking isn’t really ‘in’ these days, for the same reasons that slathering one’s body with tanning oil at the beach isn’t ‘in’ — it’s smelly, it’s bad for your skin, it gives you cancer, and doctors have been making condescending remarks to us about it for decades. So less and less people are smoking, which…

The Evil of Lawns – A Day in TOHV

There are few things I hate in this world, but one of them is lawns. Not necessarily YOUR lawn. I respect the American ideal of property rights, and therefore believe you have the legal precedent to do whatever goddamn stupid thing you want to do with your lawn. You all seem to have the same…

The Joys of Destructive Weather – A Day in TOHV

We had some cracking good weather in Columbia County this week, which is another way of saying we had very bad weather. Call me a masochist, but I might have a perverse love of destructive weather events. I had to add “might” in there because the claim seems like the famous last words uttered 20…

Exxxtreme Badminton – A Day in TOHV

I’m not sure if you’ve ever played badminton, but it doesn’t matter, because you’ve been playing it all wrong. See, you’ve been playing it as a lawn game, like croquet or…I dunno, tanning. MY crew, we play it Columbia County-style. We play it as a sport. My crew lays their heads in the sparsely populated…